Wednesday, September 3, 2014
So much of life is DOING.
Getting up and DOING whatever your morning routine is (ours is waking up, making the bed, petting Izzy until she wakes up enough to get up, brushing our teeth, getting dressed, going for our walk, coming back, feeding the animal kids, getting breakfast together for us, and finally sitting down to eat where Kimm reads the news online and I read whatever current book I am in the middle of).
Transitioning into the “to do” list of the day…DOING many things…housecleaning, shopping, organizing, crafting…or perhaps if you have kids, DOING all the stuff that goes along with that.
Lunch is eaten, more stuff gets done, dinner is planned/prepared/eaten/cleaned up after and then it is after dinner and maybe you get a chance to relax, but still DOING something (maybe reading, watching TV, a bike ride).
And then, at least for me, who works third shift, there is the DOING of work (you may have a more traditional day shift position so all the DOING that I mentioned earlier may only happen after work or on the weekends).
And with sleep taking up the rest of the time, life continues on, day after day.
I want to have more REFLECTING, rather than always DOING.
With DOING I’m always worried and rushed about the next thing that needs to get done.
With reflecting, I can just think about if what I’m doing is what I want to be doing.
I don’t think many of us take much time to truly reflect. Are we happy with all the stuff we are doing day-to-day?
I know personally that I often feel rushed, and unsatisfied at the end of many of my days. I don’t want to feel like that. I want to be truly happy in the path I’m on.
Last night at work I had the opportunity to sit in the nursery with a baby who was under bililights while the rest of the unit was assisting with a c. section. It actually forced me to stop DOING, and just to reflect. I was in that room until the procedure was done. At first I fought it, I felt bored, I felt like there was so much I had to DO. But then after a while, I just sat and watched this newborn life, and starting reflecting on how short our time here on earth is. I mean, I was once as small as this baby I was watching…I was completely dependent on another person to take care of me…I had no hopes or dreams at that point, I was not disappointed with myself, or caught in a comparison trap, or always thinking about the next thing to do. Most days I can hardly believe that I am 41. It seems unreal. I want to take back all those moments I wished away, I want to review my life, like watching a film and dissecting it. But I know there will be so many moments I won’t want to see again, moments where I made wrong decisions, or crossroads that changed things in my life, maybe not for the better. I don’t like to live with regret, but we all have happy and sad moments in our past. I guess I got a bit philosophical watching that little baby. I was looking at her sleeping and wishing her to have a fulfilling life. One in which she is loved well, unconditionally. That’s what every person needs and deserves. It was an hour and a half well spent in my mind, watching that little baby, even though I was rushing around like a fool after I was no longer needed to watch her.
So today, I decided to cut out tracking my calories for this month. Even though this is just a small thing that I am UN-DOING, I’m hoping that it will give me just a few more moments to REFLECT on what was good in my day and how I can nurture more happiness in my upcoming days.
My hope today for anyone reading is a few moments of reflecting. And hopefully a smile and sigh of content, a realization that life is good.