Tears

Monday, May 20, 2013

What a HORRIBLE night at work.

It’s like a broken record…I feel like when a certain doctor is on, things are BOUND to go wrong.

To make a long story short, I got an admission, the patient started going downhill respiratory-wise, I called the doctor to ask him to come in and see the patient and instead of taking the information I was giving him as pertinent, he was EXTREMELY rude to me on the phone.  Thankfully he did come in because the patient ended up needing to be intubated.

After getting off the phone with the doctor I was so upset…seriously ready to quit if I could have.  I always feel SO stressed out with this doctor…I don’t even feel like myself, like I can’t think properly, communicate what I am thinking…it’s SO frustrating.

And when I get upset, the tears always start to flow.

And the remainder of the night was just terrible.  I wanted to go home so bad, but of course could not.  I didn’t feel supported by my co-workers, I was extremely busy with both my patients and basically was behind all night.

I was so glad when I gave report because then I could just concentrate on documenting and getting home.

But of course that had to be the day that the nursing supervisor saw me there late and asked me why I was still there and as I was explaining the situation, the tears started again…ugh.

She WAS sympathetic, stating that I should not feel this way when I come to work.  I said I completely agreed and told her I didn’t know why me and this doctor always seem to have issues.   She asked me if she should talk to him on my behalf and I was like “NO” 🙂

While she and I were talking, the doctor actually came in…he was handing off report to the next doctor.

Even though I didn’t want him to talk to me he did.  What surprised me was that he “kind of” apologized to me.   He said that my gut feeling was right but that it wasn’t really communicated well over the phone.  This is where I got really confused.  I always think that I communicate well with him, that he just doesn’t comprehend.  So I managed…through those damn tears!! …to ask him what he wanted me to do differently when I am talking to him on the phone.  He basically said that I need to get to the crux of the matter sooner…don’t lead up with a lot of facts or justifications as to why I am calling.  I NEVER thought I was doing that but maybe I was.  Regardless, I truly am going to try to do better but of course now I’m nervous about the next time he’s on because there’s nothing like knowing that the last time you interacted, you looked like an ugly mess with tears running down your face.

I didn’t get out of work until 9:45 am!!!

It completely sucks that I have to go back to work tonight.  The only positive…a different doctor is on!

I am going to try to remember…what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…

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Published in: on May 20, 2013 at 9:30 am  Leave a Comment  

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