If I could have walked off the job…

Saturday, February 2, 2013

…I would have last night.

I SERIOUSLY HATE HATE HATE the doctor who is on this week.

I usually am not so vehement in my emotions, but this doctor is very mean.  I was yelled at again last night and all because I was TRYING to get an order followed and I’m just so damn sick and tired of it.

I really mean it.  If I could have just walked out at that point, I would have.  It would have felt amazing.

Instead I swore and cried…my usual.

And had an awful rest of the night.  I STILL feel down and worthless.  I just hate that that doctor makes me feel so inferior and incompetent when I KNOW that I am a good nurse.

Just when I thought that I was having a good stretch.

I guess I need to grow a set and confront this doctor but he just makes me so uncomfortable, I haven’t been able to do it.  So instead I just put up with it and start hating myself.

Ugh.  If it wasn’t a weekend, I would call out tonight.

I guess it is time to really start looking for a different position.  My 6 month suspension is up this month, I’ll have to look when and I’ll have to see what other department is hiring (probably the only thing I could go to now is either IMC or the ER).

NO ONE deserves to be treated how I was last night, least of all the person who is trying to take care of the patients…

Only one more day on…12 more hours of my life.  Believe me, I will avoid calling that doctor at all costs and that is NOT the attitude you want your nurse to have.

Okay, I have to snap out of this…

Maybe tonight will be better…it couldn’t be much worse.

Published in: on February 2, 2013 at 9:04 am  Comments (5)  

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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Oh Kaye I’m so sorry you are feeling like this. If it is just the one A-hole doctor making you want to leave then I wish you would reconsider. You are a wonderful nurse and just what ICU needs. You are kind, compassionate, intelligent and you are a team player. I don’t think you should stand by and take it, but I also don’t think you should have to leave. Have you spoken to anyone about this? I know what you’re dealing with management wise so that may not be helpful. No matter where you are doctors can be jerks and so can co-workers. If you ever need to talk please let me know. I hope you are able to push this away for the day and get some rest. Hang in there.

    • Aimee…thank you for your response and your concern. I think in the heat of the moment and how hurt I felt I just wanted to be done with all the BS. But…last night was a new night, or at least that’s how I approached it. Getting back on the horse, so to speak. My co-workers were actually very supportive and that made a world of difference. Supposedly a few of them spoke to the doc and even though he would never apologize, he was a bit nicer when I spoke to him last night on the phone, but then again, I was more direct and just on/off after asking for what I needed. Like I said in my post, I know I am a good nurse, but he can make me feel SO incompetent. I won’t let him chase me away 🙂 Now I have three days off so I can truly recover 🙂 Plus I won’t have to deal with him for another three weeks!

      • I once told a doctor very kindly that I hoped he would have a better day after taking his anger out on me. I then thanked him for the orders and gently hung up the phone. I knew he had no clue who I was and probably got all huffy when I hung up, but I certainly felt better for saying something. Hurray for your co-workers. I’m glad you have a reprieve from the doc for a little while.

      • Thanks Aimee! Boy you did have a lot of courage to speak your mind like that. My problem is, I only think of what to say AFTER I’ve hung up the phone! Basically I’m generally in shock that someone who is supposed to be a professional can be so mean-spirited to another professional. Blows my mind! I DO have great co-workers…really makes a difference doesn’t it 🙂 Hope you are having a good day!

  2. Hello! I’ve been following your blog for some time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Austin Tx! Just wanted to mention keep up the good job!

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