Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Nursing is a difficult job…physically, mentally, emotionally.
Last night was a tough one. NON-STOP for almost 14 hours. Yep, I was there until 8:30 am.
I hate when I stay late like that because I always feel like I’m not that great of a nurse…that I didn’t manage my time well…that I just don’t cut it.
But then I think back to the night and remember…I DID MY BEST.
However, I just feel that my hospital can be so NON-SUPPORTIVE to the nursing staff. I had to listen to a nurse vent when I got report, and she had been crying multiple times during the day….because the supervisory staff was making her feel bad for how she was taking care of a patient…this is a GREAT nurse…one that they will lose…she is putting in her resignation.
I have NEVER seen a hospital lose so many great, caring, HARD-WORKING nurses. It’s SO frustrating.
I know that there were SEVERAL times during yesterday’s shift that I felt overwhelmed to the point of wanting to either cry or bash my head against the wall. I KNOW I was rude and impatient with my co-workers (I HATE when I do this but I can’t seem to help it). When I get so behind and feel like I will never get caught up I always ask myself…”what did I do to deserve this??”
I know part of my anxiety is just my high standards…I want to document properly on my patients. I want to give them the care they deserve…the care I would want my own loved ones to get. Most of the time, when that happens, it means I barely have time to go to the bathroom, let alone quickly scarf down some peanuts or drink some water.
All I know is that I can’t feel that stressed out the rest of my life…something has to change. And since things don’t change on their own…we shall see how I work to overcome this obstacle.
SO GLAD to have a night off to sit in front of the tree, watch a Christmas movie, and just RELAX 🙂