Saturday, April 21, 2012
So after feeling so down yesterday, I read this post, Weekend Quote: Give Yourself Something, by one of my favorite bloggers, Roni. And when I read it I was like, “yeah…exactly.” I swear this woman knows what I’m thinking some days. The thing I love the best about her is that she is REAL and that she has the ability to motivate me.
I was thinking about this post tonight just before I wrote this blog.
Honestly, I slept like shit last night…just kept thinking about life and how unfair it is sometimes and of course that got me nowhere, especially in regards to sleeping.
So I woke up tired.
And still a bit depressed.
And to tell you the truth, instead of fighting against it, I kind of wallowed in it.
I DO feel like I accomplished stuff today, but my heart just was not in it.
So i was halfway there, but just not all the way. I think it was because I just kept thinking, no one cares that my life is not what I want.
But then I re-read Roni’s post again tonight and I realized that that may be how life is. No one may notice what I do or don’t do or how I feel.
So I have to recognize that myself. I have to give to myself what others may not be able to.
So even though I still feel a bit down tonight, I do realize that I am a good person.
I give myself credit for doing the daily things that need to get done but are not necessarily fun.
I give myself a pat on the back for little things I do that make my home a bit nicer.
I give myself forgiveness, even when I just want to hate my lack of willpower.
I give myself a smile when I learn something new, even if it is only for my own benefit and no one else will ever know.
“What will mess you up most in life is the picture in your head of how it is supposed to be.”
Maybe it is because I am getting older, but I often think about that “picture in my head.”
I think that I’m going to have to start changing what that picture looks like so I can actually be happy.
I need to find out WHAT makes me happy.
And if what makes me happy is what no one else can give me, then I will have to LEARN how to give it to myself!