Saturday, February 2, 2013
…I would have last night.
I SERIOUSLY HATE HATE HATE the doctor who is on this week.
I usually am not so vehement in my emotions, but this doctor is very mean. I was yelled at again last night and all because I was TRYING to get an order followed and I’m just so damn sick and tired of it.
I really mean it. If I could have just walked out at that point, I would have. It would have felt amazing.
Instead I swore and cried…my usual.
And had an awful rest of the night. I STILL feel down and worthless. I just hate that that doctor makes me feel so inferior and incompetent when I KNOW that I am a good nurse.
Just when I thought that I was having a good stretch.
I guess I need to grow a set and confront this doctor but he just makes me so uncomfortable, I haven’t been able to do it. So instead I just put up with it and start hating myself.
Ugh. If it wasn’t a weekend, I would call out tonight.
I guess it is time to really start looking for a different position. My 6 month suspension is up this month, I’ll have to look when and I’ll have to see what other department is hiring (probably the only thing I could go to now is either IMC or the ER).
NO ONE deserves to be treated how I was last night, least of all the person who is trying to take care of the patients…
Only one more day on…12 more hours of my life. Believe me, I will avoid calling that doctor at all costs and that is NOT the attitude you want your nurse to have.
Okay, I have to snap out of this…
Maybe tonight will be better…it couldn’t be much worse.
Oh Kaye I’m so sorry you are feeling like this. If it is just the one A-hole doctor making you want to leave then I wish you would reconsider. You are a wonderful nurse and just what ICU needs. You are kind, compassionate, intelligent and you are a team player. I don’t think you should stand by and take it, but I also don’t think you should have to leave. Have you spoken to anyone about this? I know what you’re dealing with management wise so that may not be helpful. No matter where you are doctors can be jerks and so can co-workers. If you ever need to talk please let me know. I hope you are able to push this away for the day and get some rest. Hang in there.
Aimee…thank you for your response and your concern. I think in the heat of the moment and how hurt I felt I just wanted to be done with all the BS. But…last night was a new night, or at least that’s how I approached it. Getting back on the horse, so to speak. My co-workers were actually very supportive and that made a world of difference. Supposedly a few of them spoke to the doc and even though he would never apologize, he was a bit nicer when I spoke to him last night on the phone, but then again, I was more direct and just on/off after asking for what I needed. Like I said in my post, I know I am a good nurse, but he can make me feel SO incompetent. I won’t let him chase me away
Now I have three days off so I can truly recover 
Plus I won’t have to deal with him for another three weeks!
I once told a doctor very kindly that I hoped he would have a better day after taking his anger out on me. I then thanked him for the orders and gently hung up the phone. I knew he had no clue who I was and probably got all huffy when I hung up, but I certainly felt better for saying something. Hurray for your co-workers. I’m glad you have a reprieve from the doc for a little while.
Thanks Aimee! Boy you did have a lot of courage to speak your mind like that. My problem is, I only think of what to say AFTER I’ve hung up the phone! Basically I’m generally in shock that someone who is supposed to be a professional can be so mean-spirited to another professional. Blows my mind! I DO have great co-workers…really makes a difference doesn’t it
Hope you are having a good day!
Hello! I’ve been following your blog for some time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Austin Tx! Just wanted to mention keep up the good job!